


Hey, old sport, I bash these drums pretty damn well.

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Modern AU, highschool, tw:pastchildabuse, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-09-16
Packaged: 2018-03-04 23:18:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3096248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>prompt: you’re the drummer for my sister's band and i find you really hot AU.</p><p>Tonks is Remus's little sister, and she has a band.<br/>They play some weird kind of indie rock in the garage every Saturday, and usually it just hurts his ears, but Tonks has a new drummer and he's wayyy too fucking hot. </p><p>(And if you needle Remus enough, he'll admit the music isn't half bad now.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. will remus ever finish his book in peace

**Author's Note:**

> all reviews greatly appreciated. enjoy :D  
> for fucks sake why did I think posting my writing was a good idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning I edit this fic almost constantly. So if you're a returning reader some character/plot things might have changed.

“Guess whaaaaaaat~!” Tonks sang as she burst through Remus’s bedroom door.

Remus looked up from his desk with a smile and a sigh.

“Does it have something to do with the band?” he asked. Tonks only got this excited from either her music or teasing Remus.

“Yeah,” she admitted, sheepish. “But it’s actually super rad news!” She leaned over and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. “Guess who the new drummer is?” 

One second passed, two, and that was her limit to holding back. “SIRIUS BLACK!" 

Remus blanked.  “Who’s that, exactly?” he said, peering beyond the black rim of his glasses. “Should I know him?” 

Tonks looked offended by his ignorance. “You daft idiot, he’s only a school legend with effortless godlike beauty, superb football skills, and a glorious repertoire of pranks. Not to mention,  _an_ _amazing drummer_!” 

Remus shook his head. The name still wasn't ringing a bell.

"Black hair? Leather jacket?" she demanded. "Left lewd messages on Dumbledore's office door for a week?"

Remus remembered the incident, but not the perpetrator. He faintly recalled some preteen girls passing the messages around as sex advice. It was good stuff, too...

"Oh well. But you get the point, the point being that he's ridiculously hot. And, he has a tattoo!” Tonks scrunched her nose.  “A girl claims it’s on his bum.”

“That's great, dear sister, but get to the point,” Remus said.

“I think you ought to see it up close and personal.” Tonks wiggled her eyebrows once again. "Give him, let's put it this way, a really, really warm welcome to the band."

Remus shifted in his seat.  “Tonks, he’s probably not gay. Besides, remember when you tried to set me up with the ex-drummer, Peter? I told you it wouldn't end well."

“Yeah, the homophobic little shit threw a fit when I asked him to take you on a date. At least he's gone now."  She sighed. “But come on, you’d be so cute together with the new one!”

Remus looked back down at his reading.  “It’s for the best. I feel like God gave me a sign that trying to date anyone is bad karma. Besides, I’m a loner with zero people skills and too many history books, not really this guy’s type.”

Remus grew enraptured again with the book scene at hand. The werewolf hero was just about to finish scaling the Black Wall into the villain’s castle… 

Tonks wasn’t ready to back down yet.

“Whatever, ya dork. I’ll just pop down and ask him if he sucked any dick recently, and if he’d kindly suck yours,” she said, and she evilly grinned before booking it.   


Remus stumbled to his feet in horror as Tonks sprinted out of his room. The door smacked against the bedroom wall with a terrifying  _crack_ as she jerked it aside, and Remus thought this was the end for him.

“Dear god, oh lord, _no_ ,” he pleaded, running after her with a constrained chest and anxiety gripping his lungs as Tonks cackled down the hallway. 

“No, no no nononono oh NO-“ he squeaked, turning the corner, almost slipping on the hardwood floor in his socks as Tonks bounded down the stairs and through the garage door. Remus panted as he followed her, racing down the stairs at breakneck speeds even though he knew it was hopeless to try and stop Tonks now.

“Maybe he’ll remove the stick up your ass and replace it with his!” 

Remus knew in the back of his mind running was a bad, bad idea, but it was pushed aside in the name of saving his dignity.  He reached the garage doorway out of breath and leaned heavily on his knees, becoming painfully aware of how all eyes in the garage fell on him. He really didn't think this through, did he? He tried to pretend he could breathe normally and failed.

Tonks beat him there, and as she saw him her smile stretched in a way that screamed checkmate.

Remus looked at her with his best puppy dog eyes, pleading for mercy. No such luck. 

“Oh yes, Sirius, this is my brother Remus, and I was wondering if you've gotten a hard on for a bloke anytime recently? Cause I'm sure my brother dear has one for you."

Remus sputtered, hopelessly raising up a hand in protest, but before he could say anything coherent he saw the guy she was speaking to. 

Promptly Remus forgot what he was going to say. 

Is that really a high school student? Remus caught himself thinking, and oh dear, Remus remembered he was really, really gay as he looked the guy over.

The new drummer sat behind his official throne of drums, his posture relaxed, confident with a hint of pride; all broad shoulders, propped feet and toned limbs. His black hair reached his shoulders, framing a sharp jaw with easy waves and Remus could imagine him having to constantly brush loose strands out of his eyes. Paired with an outfit of a worn leather jacket and white tee and it was easy to see him smoking a cigarette in some greaser movie, blowing smoke in curls. Damn, that pretty face.

Then there were those scrunched up grey jeans that left just a hint of skin open, Remus’s eyes helplessly drawn to the slight curve of his hipbones…

Sirius smirked.

“Don’t really remember Tonks, sorry. But if your brother there wants to find out, he can come round my parts anytime,” Sirius said. 

A pause.  “And I meant that literally.” 

James, the guitarist, laughed. "You massive flirt, Padfoot, didn't even say hello first."

Remus’s face burned. Was this guy for real? No way he actually meant that. 

God, though, it sent his brain down south...

Then Remus realized he was still panting, and he couldn't breathe very well, and not because of the innuendo and the resulting dirty thoughts.

He was having a goddamn asthma attack.

 

He started to cough, bending over even more as he tried to hack up his lungs that couldn't expand all the way, why were they doing that, some more oxygen would be nice. The new drummer’s brow creased.

Remus couldn't say anything, think about anything other than forcing his lungs open...

"Woah, I was joking, well, sort of. Anyway, no need to choke over it,” Sirius said, stumbling out from behind the drum set, but he was pushed aside by Tonks running over.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to trigger you, what with all the running and gosh, I screwed up,” she said, worried, slinging Remus's arm over her shoulder and hauling him out. “He’s fine, guys! Asthma! Be back in a sec!” 

She continued to drag Remus into the kitchen.  There, she slung him into a seat and Remus shakily took out his inhaler. The kitchen lights made his eyes ache, the white-tiled room harsh and strangely foreign to his dizzy head. Nothing but his pathetic gasps cut through the quiet.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

 “So, karma, eh?” she said guiltily, and patted Remus on the shoulder as he slumped and took a puff. “If it makes you feel better, he thinks you're somewhat cute, did you hear that flirty comment? He wants to bang you!” 

Breathe in. Breathe out.

“Bug off, Tonks,” Remus wheezed. “Made a right fool of myself and my coughing.” 

God, why did he have to have an asthma attack right in front of the hottest dude he'd ever seen?

"Fine, fine, wallow in misery and totally ignore the fact his sexuality clearly includes blokes, Remus!" Tonks said, ever optimistic.

Remus stewed in his thoughts. He didn't know what to do. He could never look the guy straight in the face again, but Sirius was in Tonks's band, and that meant he would be at their house every damn Saturday for practice. And the rest of the band, for that matter. Remus officially needed to run away and become a hermit. 

"Remus, I know what you're thinking. You're not becoming a hermit, not on my watch." 

Remus's heart felt like it couldn't stop pounding. Seemed like the medication was kicking in.

She prodded him with a hmph.

"So! Looks like you're alright. I'll go now." She turned, heading back to the garage.  Or that had been her plan. Remus craned his neck to see what was the matter, then wished he didn't.

"Wotcher, Sirius! We were just talking about you," Tonks chirped, ignoring how her brother froze beside her. 

Sirius was peering inside the kitchen, hands in his pockets.  "Your brother alright, Tonks?" he said, scuffing his shoe along the tiles. "Didn't mean to give him a scare, just wanted to make him blush a bit, that's all.”

Tonks scoffed. “Nah, nerd over here is fine. His asthma just has bad timing sometimes.”

Remus couldn't help feeling a bit rubbed the wrong way. Make him blush, really? Remus wasn't some blushing virgin to make fun of!

Well. He couldn't really argue with the virgin part.  Remus stopped glowering and pulled together whatever dignity he had left. He did not blush as he looked at Sirius, nope, not at all.

Well, maybe a little.

"It's fine. You aren't to blame. It was because a certain pink-haired IDIOT decided to make me chase her through the house," Remus said, gesturing at his sister as he spoke. "Sometimes I wonder if her piercings damaged something important."

"Aw, man, shut up! It was your choice to run after me," she said, giving him a smack on the shoulder and then smiled.  

Remus shot an incredulous look at her. She left no other option, did she?

”Doofus, just go back to your books already," she said, and with that Remus got up to leave, head still shaking in bemusement with the typical post-attack tiredness sinking in. 

He stood and teetered for a moment, unsure what to do now that he was eye level with the figure he desperately wanted to avoid. Sirius was still looking at Remus as if he was going to start coughing again.

"Jesus christ, I have asthma, not cancer. I'm fine, go back there and bash your drums," Remus said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Sirius visibly relaxed, and Remus only thought _thank god_.

"Well, old sport, I bash those drums pretty damn well."

"Old sport?" 

"You seem like a Great Gatsby-type fellow, Remus, wasn't it? Well, a bookish type at least, what with the glasses and cardigan," Sirius teased.

"At least books don't make fun of me."

"Fair enough," Sirius nodded, giving a mock salute before turning to join Tonks. The two bandmates slinked back into the garage, Sirius lazily stepping across the floor and twirling a drumstick between his long fingers.

"I hate the Great Gatsby, I'll have you know!" Remus called after his retreating back.

"Alright then, old sport!" Sirius called out from ahead, and Remus wasn't even angry.

 

Remus didn't know what to make of the entire interaction. What on earth could the guy think of him after a first meeting like that? So he went with plan A, which was keeping his bedroom door firmly locked as he finished his book, trying to ignore the faint drum beat below him.

His finger was most certainly not tapping in rhythm to it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remus is like this weird nerdy hipster dealio in my head and I imagine Sirius as a ridiculous korean punk rocker. idk actually how to describe my headcanon


	2. Moony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short little chapter scene from Sirius's POV. I love James's and Sirius's broship. Losers.

As James slung his guitar around his back, he watched Sirius grab his drumsticks. They headed out, walking home together as usual. This time, though, James had a manic grin on his face.

“Finally! Someone for you to moon over, Sirius!” He gave Sirius a shove on the shoulder, and Sirius flicked him back. “Oh, don't give me that, I saw your face back in the garage,” James said. 

Sirius leveled a cool headed stare at James.

“So, you’re claiming mindreading is a skill you now possess?”

“I just know you too well,” James insisted. Sirius scoffed.

“I know the exact moment you figured out Tonks was trying to embarrass her brother. I know the moment you decided Remus didn’t look half bad and to play along. I know the moment you actually worried about another human being when he started coughing. ”

“I know that this is the exact moment you became an unbearable twat,” Sirius muttered.

“Didn’t know you went for the nerdy thing, Sirius!” James continued, brushing off the comment. “Well, I guess I can see the appeal, the glasses and blushing virgin look really works for him.” 

He poked Sirius.

“Moony! Hah, that’s his nickname, because the face you pulled for the rest of practice after he left was priceless!”  Another poke. "Your face was positively  _dreamy._ " Poke. “Moony!”

 

Sirius pulled out the big guns.

“Oh Lily,” he began, clasping his hands dramatically and pitching his voice, “Please, just one date! It’s true love! Lily, Lily, Lily, I wank to you at night!”

“I never said that!” James stuttered, his bravado disappearing as it always did on the subject of Lily Evans.

“Oh, so it’s true? You do jerk it to Lily? I should tell her,” Sirius said, unrelenting now that the tables turned.

“Don’t you dare. Just wait, she’ll agree to a date sooner or later!” 

“Sorry, but I expect it will happen later. Like, after you’re dead later.”

James was already starting to daydream.

“Her hair is so amazing, isn’t it? It’s so red and silky, I wonder if she uses a fancy conditioner,” James said, sighing.

“Are you seriously wondering about her hair care routine? Looks like someone has a redhead kink.”

“Shut up, I bet you'll be thinking about Remus’s hair too after a few more Saturday practices.”

Sirius fell silent. He couldn’t deny the thought of what gripping Remus’s hair would feel like had crossed his mind.

 

It looked really soft.


	3. Damn, that was his favorite mug

Remus had thought it was a great idea to go make himself some tea, and so he found himself drifting downstairs to search through the kitchen.

“Why can’t we ever stock tea regularly? I can never find anything in this house,” he grumbled while he peered into the pantry depths. “I swear I asked Dad to buy some last night...”

Remus turned over what felt like the 50th box of expired crackers to reveal expired canned peas, and wait, there was a hint of something in the corner-

“Yes!” he called out, pumping a jubilant fist in the air as he pulled out the box of Earl Grey and shook it, grinning at the resulting dull rattle that confirmed the box held tea packets. With considerably higher spirits, Remus set a kettle to boil and whistled a silly tune he made up as he went along, ready to relax for the next 24 hours. No need to change out of his PJs, he could lounge about in a t-shirt and boxers all day, and it felt great.

“A good start to the weekend,” he thought, and raised a steaming mug to his lips.

 

“Hey, old sport!”

 

Remus sputtered, dribbling tea over the mug’s edge and the scalding hot liquid poured over his knuckles, fingers letting go with a jerk and the mug lay in pieces on the tile floor. The puddle of tea seeped outwards from the crash, Remus clutched his hand, and Sirius stood frozen in the kitchen entrance, his hand still half raised in greeting.

Remus sucked in air through clenched teeth, eyes squeezing closed in pain. Fuck, he forgot Sirius would be coming here every Saturday. Fuck, he was really aware of his less-than-clothed state. Fuck, he dropped his tea.

His chest was growing tight. His lungs felt rigid.

 

The sound of padded feet against tile interrupted the terse silence first. The feather light touch of fur brushed by, and Remus pried open his eyes to see the family cat twisting round Remus’s bare legs. She delicately avoided glass shards in cautious steps, taking her time to make her way across the kitchen floor before settling in a regal crouch beside the fridge.

Remus didn't breathe. The cat meowed.

Sirius unfroze first.

“I’m starting to think that teasing you inspires God’s wrath. The mug splintered into a million pieces, bloody hell…” he said, running a hand through his hair. “How’s the hand? That looks awful.”

Remus gripped a growing red welt, running across his hand where the tea had dripped down in rivulets, and he only shook his head in response to Sirius. Remus compressed the panic, used every inch of mental capacity to get his lungs to work again, and instead of getting the ice he so desperately ached for, he grabbed the dustpan. 

As he leaned down he began to cough, unable to hold back any longer, but Remus hid it well and slowly the wheezing subsided. He avoided Sirius's gaze as he swept up chunks of mug, head bowed and glad his crouched position let him avoid the gaze of the boy standing beside him.

His lungs finally drew in some more air.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Sweeping all the glass safely into the trashcan, some of his mortified expression eased, and by the time he’d mopped up the tea with paper towels his face had returned relatively to normal -albeit a bit forced from the pain of the burn.

Remus straightened up, stretching the developed crook in his back when an ice pack was pressed into his hands.

“Tough guy, put some ice on it, will you?” Sirius said. “I can see you clenching your jaw.”

“Yes, _please_ ,” Remus said, admitting to the pain as he grabbed and pressed the blissful cold into the burn. He breathed out in relief, and glanced over to the kettle still left on the stove.

“Shame about the tea, had to search the whole morning to find some,” he commented, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Yeah, you startle easily. Like a rabbit,” Sirius looked amused.

“Sorry.” Remus glanced away. His eyes fell on some cups on the counter.

Time to start over.

“So, since you’re here, want tea?” Remus said. “I’ll have to pour myself a new cup anyway.”

 

Sirius already pulled out a chair from the table, kicked up his legs and had on a roguish grin Remus was starting to realize was Sirius Black’s typical expression.

“Of course, but only if you don’t spill it this time.”

* * *

 

The cat, which had watched the whole exchange, stalked away with her tail up. Nobody noticed, as Remus was busy pouring two cups of tea, and smiling about it secretly as he did. He'd casually swept up the mug, averted another asthma crisis, and now he was making tea for a hot guy. Remus Lupin, superhero of the day.

 A thought occurred to him.

“Why are you in here anyway? Isn’t Tonks looking for you?” Remus said, handing Sirius his tea.

“Oh _no._ Are you going to tell on me?" Sirius said with fake worry. "I’m still at band practice, really. Just in a different part of the house.”

“Well then, Mr. Rebel, Tonks will have my ass if she knows I’m hiding a fugitive.” 

“Well then, old sport, you’ll just deal with it.

“Is old sport a thing now? Are we at a nickname stage? " Remus asked. "Cause I don't really know you, not really."

He grew suddenly aware of the way Sirius's eyes never left him, his words self-conciously fading into mumbling."Well, I've heard things, of course, but only what Tonks mentioned in passing last week,” he muttered.

“Like what? Tell me, what rumours do you know of my dashing self?” Sirius settled his chin in his palm, leaning forward on his elbows with a lopsided smirk.

“Well, apparently, you're a bit of a school legend. Talented with a drum set and good at football.” Remus said, recalling how excited Tonks had been. Mentally he added, "Gorgeous, too."

Sirius puffed up like a bird at the stroking of his ego.

“Which is strange,” Remus continued, stirring his tea with a small smile, “ Because I've never heard your name before, so you can’t be that great.”

Sirius clenched his heart, feigning horror. “Oh, you wound me so!” he gasped, leaning back in his chair. “Well, I’ll prove my stupendousness to you sometime. But what else did you hear about me?”

Remus fixated his eyes onto his mug, and Sirius quirked an eyebrow at Remus's discomfort.

“Well, Tonks said... this is strange. But do you really have a tattoo on your bum?”

Sirius unexpectedly beamed. “Hah! That was better than I imagined!” Sirius barked a laugh and slapped the table, eyes glinting with a devious fire. “Usually the gossip spread about me is completely unoriginal. Like, oh, he screwed some girl or some other lame crap. But a bum tattoo, that’s new!”

Then his smile stretched wide. “But as for if it’s true, well, you’ll just have to find that out.” He wiggled his eyebrows in a Tonks-like fashion.

Remus was starting to consider shaving off both of their eyebrows in their sleep.

 

“SIRIUS!”

Speak of the devil, Tonks angrily marched in, grabbed the wannabe greaser boy by the ear and yanked him from the table.

 “I don’t have a problem with you hitting on my brother, just not DURING. BAND. PRACTICE!” Tonks growled, pulling on the collar of Sirius’s leather jacket, and Remus feared for the other boy’s life. Sirius, however, was unperturbed, cheerfully waving to Remus as he was forcibly removed from the kitchen.

“Sorry for not finishing our tea party!” he called out, and Remus was left alone in the kitchen for the second time on a Saturday. 

 

Crap, he was still only in his underwear. His legs were covered in goosebumps as the cold of the kitchen started to raise the little hairs. Or maybe that was Sirius's fault.

  
  



	4. School is actually a thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me if anything reads weird, I didn't have anyone beta this

Normally, school libraries tend to be depressing, as the title "school library" suggests.

But the library at Hogwarts High School was heaven to Remus Lupin, and it was truly a school library that deserved the title of library. The shelves were full of classics, the library itself too small to attract bored jocks, and the head librarian was gentlest lady Remus had ever met. Mrs. Lovegood was a bit eccentric, sure. But she let Remus sit in the library any time he liked and didn't fuss about how many books he checked out, so he couldn't be happier.

So, if there was homework to be done, Remus would be found doing it in the library, and if there wasn't, Remus would be found reading in there anyway. 

Right now, he scribbled illegible notes on the British Airforce in WWII, stopping for a second to hold his pencil in his mouth as he glanced over the last paragraph. He fiddled the pencil between his teeth, rolling it with a clack, clack, and sometimes his tongue accidentally caught the taste of gross rubbery eraser.

Remus took the pencil out from his teeth to keep writing, but realized his glasses had become caked in dust during the day. He wondered how he hadn't noticed before.

He slid the frames off, pinching the bottom of his shirt to grab the fabric edge and rub the glass.

The dust only got smudged in streaks across the lenses.

"Fuck," Remus mumbled, hunched over and he bit his lip as he rubbed harder. Then he looked up.

A figure appeared down the row of shelves. Was it heading for him? He couldn't tell.

The figure kept getting closer, and if Remus squinted it looked like James, but wait, that hair was too long-

Remus finally slid his glasses back on and found it was Sirius who appeared, leaning over Remus and rocking back and forth on his heels. Sirius was oblivious to how out-of-place he looked, standing in the library with his leather jacket and skinny jeans, and easily smiled when Remus saw him.

"Hey there, Remus! I've seen you around the school before, but now we sort-of actually know each other, yeah?" Sirius ruffled Remus's hair in a far too familiar way.

Remus abandoned his notes. This developing crush was making him crazy, he normally never ignored schoolwork. Argh, he needed to stop before this got out of hand. He was in the closet, this would never work out, he just needed to remind himself of that more often.

Fuck, Sirius's gorgeous hair was making him forget why he was trying to hold back in the first place.

"Funny, how we all walk around but don't talk to anyone," Remus said, nodding and trying to hold himself together without melting.

"High school is weird like that." Sirius flopped into the seat next to Remus, taking the time to stretch his back and legs like an overgrown cat.

"So, how does the bookworm fare? You wouldn't happen to be reading the Great Gatsby, eh?" Sirius grinned.

"Nope, taking history notes. Or I was, until a certain _someone_ showed up," Remus said, rolling his eyes.

"Well, you owe me one. Tonks chewed me out for having tea with you when I had drums to 'bash', as you put it. So now you've got to sit with me, old sport."

"But can you risk associating with me? Won't my button-up nerd look ruin your punk status?" 

Sirius checked out Remus from head to toe, taking his time with his head cocked to the right, contemplating.

Remus's breath grew shallow again and Sirius's trademark smirk came back.  

"I think you'll do just fine." Sirius goddamn winked. 

Fuck. Sirius wasn't actually insinuating he thought a nervous lanky hipster like Remus was hot, was he? Remus flushed and looked back down to his textbook, pretending to skim the reading while his brain freaked.

God, this was like the garage incident all over again. Sirius was just messing with him, wasn't he?

Remus knew he was average looking. Sirius probably had other gorgeous people all over him, that's what hot people do, they flock together, right? They don't like average bookworms. Wait. What if Sirius was straight and this was all a sick joke? He liked pranks, didn't he?

Arghhh, he was overthinking it. This whole thing was out of his depth.

Thank god Sirius just kept talking during Remus's mental whirlpool.

"Listen, do you have a spare hair tie?" Sirius asked. An awkward pause filled the air before Remus came back to reality.

"Huh, what?" Remus looked back up. "Oh, no. Why would I have one? There's nothing to tie here." He pointed at his short, wavy hair.

"I don't know, you hold onto one for Tonks? I'm just desperate, my hair has been getting in my face all day."

Sirius's hair curled lazily into his eyes, and indeed swept over Sirius's face as he pouted. Remus felt real pain fighting the urge to tuck those loose strands behind his ears. That long hair gave Remus _wet dreams_.

Remus was going mad, and he needed back up. A tiny plan began to form.

"Well, I don't have one, but Lily will be coming here soon, I think. I'm sure she has a hair tie or something."

It was time to call in the special forces, and Lily Evans topped the list. Lily wasn't really coming. Yet. But Remus was going to text her and then she would be, because Lily Evans was one of Remus's few trusted friends for a reason. Remus liked her good-natured spirit, and she was always more outgoing than Remus was. She could sort out this whole Sirius issue Remus had, right? Lily knew more about this crush business.

And the hair tie was a bonus.

"No way." Sirius's jaw dropped. "You can't mean Lily Evans...you're friends with her?", Sirius said, almost awestruck. He ran his hand through his hair, leaning back in his chair as he mulled it over.

Remus was not expecting that kind of reaction. "Why, you have a problem with her?" Remus lifted one brow.

Sirius's brain seemed to finally click into place, and he grinned. "Hah! The opposite. She's the girl who James has been going crazy over. She's turned him down seven times now, you know, it's all I ever hear about anymore. Lily Evans this, Lily Evans that. I was beginning to forget she was a real person with friends." 

Remus was shocked, he didn't know James fancied Lily. He jerked upright. "Wait, James has been asking her out?"

_Why didn't Lily tell him?_

"Yeah, he's been pining for years, it's hilarious!" Sirius jabbed his thumb at Remus. "And who knew little Remus here was friends with the infamous Lily, the Lily who I've had to listen about for ages! Small world."

"Well, I'll have to ask her about that," Remus mumbled, already pulling out his phone from his pocket. He sent her a harried text within seconds, thumb fumbling more than once.

**_SOS come to libraruy bring hair tie. emergency. but pretend youre here to study or something_**

**_also why didn't you tell me james asked you out_ **

His phone buzzed almost immediately afterwards. Sirius was watching Remus fiddle with his phone, curious what he was doing. Remus, sensing the watching eyes, quickly turned to Sirius to assure him that he simply was "making sure Lily is coming!" and then shifted back to his phone screen. 

The corner of Sirius's mouth grimaced, a look that seemed out of place on the boy who was the opposite of what his name implied. 

Sirius started to fidget, saying, "Look, about that, I should probably go before she gets here..." but Remus didn't notice, too busy reading the reply.

**_okay coming. be there in a min! whats the emergency? and I'll explain the James thing. It didn't come up when we talked, thats all._**

What did she mean, it didn't come up? Remus knew a lie when he saw one.

But she wasn't lying about being there in a minute. There were advantages to having a friend who could sprint, and that was that Lily popped up behind Remus before he even had a chance to reply to her message. 

"Hey, Remus! Here to, uh, study. Yep." Lily was an awful actor. 

Remus still smiled at the sound of her voice, and gestured to Sirius, about to make introductions... when Lily's face turned unnaturally sour.

"Remus, you didn't say Sirius Black would be here." 

Remus tried to desperately signal her with his eyes that Sirius  _was_ the emergency, but Lily was still acting odd. She usually was nice to everyone, why was her voice so cold?

"I didn't think Lily would get here so soon," Sirius said, with an awkwardness that didn't suit him at all.

He sighed. "Uh, Remus, I was trying to tell you that this wasn't a good idea. I mean, she really doesn't like James, and uh, I get lumped into that category as his best mate."

Lily was still staring Sirius down, and Sirius met her gaze with an unusual gravity. The silence was beginning to drag for an uncomfortable length of time.

Dead quiet.

Crap. Remus didn't know what to do. It was so tense, God, he messed up again.

Well, not everything.

"Lily, did you bring the hair tie?" he nervously asked, his voice sounding small against the quiet.

"Yes. Though I don't have a clue what for." She stiffly held it out, breaking eye contact with Sirius.

Remus took it, and then anxiously smiled at Sirius as he passed the band on to him. "Sorry, should've listened before." Remus tried to grin but it came out more like a grimace. "Here's the hair tie?" 

Sirius looked instantly relieved and sighed audibly with gratitude, mumbling a "Thanks, talk later," before he left, wrapping his hair in a gorgeous loose bun as he walked away and Remus wondered if he was developing a Sirius-based hair kink.

 

 

 


	5. They talk loudly in a library, those naughty kids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you all for reading, thank you!

Remus still had a slight dreamy smile as he turned to Lily, ready to explain everything-

"WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT!?" Lily demanded, and she sputtered indignantly. "WHAT is going ON?!"

She stopped, having remembered they were in a library, then continued yelling slightly quieter. "What was the emergency anyway?! What the hell!" Lily waved her arm emphatically at where Sirius Black had been moments ago."Most importantly, why were you with Sirius Black?" she hissed, giving the best evil eye she could muster.

Remus shooshed her, gripping her by the shoulders and depositing her into the seat beside him, his mouth an aggravated frown. She kept ranting with her arms crossed as he guided her down. "If I knew the hair tie was for him, I wouldn't have given you it!" 

"Lily, shut up about Sirius, _you_ didn't tell me anything about James!" Remus said, tone that of a scolding mother and Lily's mouth shut with a snap.

 _Woah._ That was something to behold.

"Lily? I have never seen you shut up that fast in my life," Remus said.

Lily immediately began to babble.

"What do you mean? I'm still talking, yeah, Sirius sure sucks-"

"Lily." Remus said. "What is going on with you and James? I just found out James asked you out  _seven_ times.  _Seven._ This is something best friends tell each other, yeah?"

Lily squirmed, fingers curled around her chair seat.

"Lily." Remus's voice was like a warning.

"Oh, fine, yes, he asked me on a date. He tried several times. Every day for a week. I said no, that's all there is."

"Seven goddamn times, Lily. James must really like you."

"But he's a bloody idiot!," Lily blurted, and she looked ashamed afterwards. "He does these stupid pranks all the time, and he only cares about football, and he's so full of himself! Thinks he's a bloody god." 

Remus had trouble fitting Lily's description of James with the easygoing guitarist he knew. Sure, he was a complete idiot. But he was a fun idiot, and Tonks didn't ask him to join her band for nothing.

"Lily. You do know James is in Tonks's band? He plays guitar. He's not bad."

Lily did a double take. "He does WHAT?"

"He plays guitar. He clearly cares about something other than football then, considering he's pretty damn good. And he's not an asshole, just an ass. At least from what I've seen."

Lily listened sceptically. "Really? You sure this is the same James?"

"Yes, I'm pretty sure. I think? Was he really such a douchebag around you?"

Her mouth pursed. "Well. He's always a dick to Severus. And I know Severus is rude back, but James still makes fun of other people and pulls off mean pranks."

"Well, James does tend to stride around like an overconfident rooster. But I thought he was harmless."

"Well, he isn't. He's an ass. I don't date jerks who think they're above everyone else."

Remus was confused by all this conflicting information, considering he'd enjoyed James's company for the past year or so and the worst that happened was all his underwear disappeared one week. Remus smiled slyly. To get back at him, Remus had opened the door to greet James that weekend in nothing but a shirt and a pair of Tonk's bright red panties. 

A lightbulb went off in his head.

"Lily, isn't your friend Severus in the same classes as you right now?"

"Yeah. What about it?"

"Well, is James always an asshole? Or does he only go overboard when Severus is around you?"

Lily put it together.

"Oh, lord, he's jealous!" she said.

"I can't believe you didn't realize this. Aren't you the sensible one? Guys always act crazy around their crush, it's a weird coping strategy we have."

Lily slowly smirked, sensing her opening. "A coping strategy? And aren't you usually the sensible one, hm, Remus?

"Yes, and...?" Remus said, distinctly feeling like a deer in the headlights under Lily's gaze.

"So, do you mean crazy like the kind of crazy you were a minute ago? Around a certain Sirius Black, hmm? You're such an old man, you'd never act so nice otherwise! You have a crush on him."

Damn. Lily knew Remus too well.

Remus slumped at the mere mention of his Sirius problem. "Yeah. I know. I'm an idiot."

"I knew it! You gave him my hair tie. And you smiled at him! That's practically true love from you!" Lily said, happy that the focus finally shifted from her to Remus. "I'm so glad someone managed to pull you from your self-enforced gay prison!"

Then she remembered she hated Sirius.

"But Remus, Sirius is the same breed as James, which means he thinks he owns everything and is a self-righteous bastard."

"Yeah."

"And you have a crush on him?!"

"I don't know what I've gotten myself into."

"Remus, how the hell did you even meet Sirius, of all people?"

"He's Tonk's new drummer, and Tonks asked him if he sucked any dick recently, and then I had an asthma attack. Then I broke a mug the next time I saw him. And then we had tea."

"Aww, could your little gay heart not handle it?"

"Well, I made a complete fool of myself and he still came around to talk when he saw me here. And he's fucking sex on legs, which doesn't help." 

Remus knew this couldn't end well for his mental sanity. He was closeted, unable to handle people, and asthmatic. He was boring, and Sirius was the opposite. Thrilling. Exciting. Not healthy to obsess over. Remus was doomed to live a life alone! He couldn't get invested!

He groaned and put his head in his hands. "I don't know about this! I'm not even sure his sexuality includes blokes, even if he does dress like a 60's greaser. Sirius is the emergency here, Lily. Help me," he said, sounding defeated.

There was a moment of silence shared between the two friends as they mulled over Remus's romantic troubles.

"I look after my friends," Lily began, then paused to look with concern at Remus. "I might think Sirius is a right bastard sometimes, but you haven't had any excitement in so long, you haven't even given yourself a chance. You ought to live a little. Maybe, just maybe, I got the wrong impression of Sirius." Lily looked physically pained saying it.

"And Remus? I've had enough of your 'forever alone' bullshit for a while now. Go make a new friend. If he becomes a boyfriend, that's good too. Or not. Forget everything else for now," Lily finished.

The words hanged in the air, and Remus thought them over. Yeah, he could get to know Sirius, what kind of person he was. It couldn't hurt too bad. If he got too deep, he could jump ship anytime.

He could allow himself to have a crush on someone. 

The relief that came over him from the realization was intense, combined with a confidence he forgot he had. This was okay. He could get to know Sirius. It would be alright, because Remus was capable of making friends...capable of just being around someone new for a change. 

He tried to express this feeling towards Lily the simplest way he could.

"Thanks, Lily."

"I swear, I'm like your fairy godmother. Now go, and let your little gay heart sing."

Remus levelled a stern look at Lily as she stood up to leave. "Don't forget to tell me if anything happens with you and James. I will have to interrogate him sometime. Find out his intentions."

"Oh shut up, Remus. You're as intimidating as a kicked puppy. If anyone is interrogating anyone, you better believe it'll be me threatening Sirius."

Remus hated that Lily was right.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly don't even know what the POV I use is called. It's like a weird mix of omniscient 3rd person and limited viewpoint. I just roll with it. Finally, Lily is in the story!


	6. The tea incidents continue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quick silly update. Sorry for the accidental hiatus.

Saturday came back around quickly, as it had a funny habit of doing recently. Remus couldn't deny the sense of excitement that permeated the morning, and he lingered in the kitchen far too long at 9:00, waiting for the trickle of band members that arrived around 9:30. He was hyper aware of the fact that something had gone wrong the last few times he had met Sirius, so this time he was already fully dressed in an outfit he had wasted 30 minutes putting together, completely awake, and mentally prepared for the worst.

He sat with a pre-boiled tea kettle, tapping a finger against his knee and checking his watch what seemed to be every two seconds. Sometimes he rearranged the cup coasters around the table, sliding them side to side like a lonely game of air hockey.

Two empty mugs sat beside him. Wait no- three, as he just ran to get another one as to not make it look so suspicious. Good timing, too, as Tonks just walked in and gave him a strange look.

“Remus?... Why are you in here? You almost never leave your room on a Saturday. Oh, you made tea! For me?” She grinned, and snatched a mug to pour herself a steaming cupful, forgetting all else when presented with a hot drink.

“ _Mmmmmm_ …. Oh, you look nice today Remus, cleaned right up…. _slurp, ahhh_ , seen anyone arrive yet? OOMPH!”

Someone tackled Tonks from behind in a flying swoop, arms wrapping around her in a vice grip, and the tea from Tonk’s mug splattered all over the front of Remus’s shirt, drenching him. Tonks bumbled around precariously, unbalanced by the unwanted large weight on her back before collapsing onto the floor, along with the teenage boy latched onto her.

“TONKS!”

“JAMIE BOY!”

The two giggled uncontrollably on the floor, rolling around like maniacs and clearly unaware of the staredown occurring between a soaked Remus and Sirius, who clearly had arrived just behind James and now stood in the doorway. 

 

Remus’s eyes met Sirius’s, face slack with embarrassment and yet disbelief of how quickly everything went haywire. This went on for a few seconds, before a single tea droplet slid down a loose hair strand and plopped straight into his eye. Remus let out a small squeal as he screwed his eyes shut, cursing his existence.

Sirius took a step back, face starting to contort and biting his lip until a small chuckle escaped. Then a full bodied laugh. Then, he was going mad, bending over double like the two other teens still laughing on the floor, a cacophony of ridiculousness until Remus couldn't help but giggle and smile from ear to ear in a way that felt so good, stretched his underused facial muscles in a real burning smile the likes of Remus Lupin had never smiled before.

 

“I, I can see your nipples through your wet shirt,” Tonks managed to gasp out, before disintegrating into giggles, and both the eyes of Remus and Sirius darted far too quickly to Remus’s chest before blushing shamefully and looking away with slight panic.

 

Remus slid out of his seat as casually as he could, and mumbled something about changing his shirt and a waste of good tea. Then he ran, ahem, left.

 


	7. Brief interlude in your daily scheduled program

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for hiatus. But I will return to the story, hopefully. But this just came to me today, lol.

"Sir-ius~?" James sang, scooting across the bed to elbow Sirius suggestively in the side. "Guess what?" 

Sirius was having none of it. He had an hour of history homework to finish, alright? He had no time for James's usual stupid games.

"What."

A flirtatious eyebrow wiggled at him. "I have a little... _something_ that might interest you, Sirius."

"What is it, James? Just get it over with, cause I'm busy."

"Oh, this will  _distract_ you from your homework thoroughly, old chap." James swirled his finger in the air, faking an air of deep contemplation. "It might have something to do with...Moony? Maybe?" He leveled a look of nonchalance at Sirius. "Who knows?"

" _Remus?_ What twisted thing have you involved him in?"

"No need to get protective, my dear boy! His part was completely voluntary. He came up with his prank himself, actually. It was quite the shocker for poor ol' me!" James smirked in a way that only could be described as pure evil. "Did you know meek, bookish Remus has quite the wild side?"

Sirius couldn't even pretend to keep reading his textbook. When he spoke, it came out a deep, rolling growl. "James. What did you do."

"You see, about a month ago, I played a little prank. Just as part of my initiation into Tonk's band, nothing serious."

"James."

"Fine, fine, I'll stop teasing. Point is, I stole all of Remus's underwear, leaving him nothing. And what did mild-mannered, responsible Remus cook up as revenge?"

James leaned in as close as humanly possible towards Sirius, only stopping millimeters away from his ear to let his breath ghost over it. He waited. James was the master of dramatic pauses, after all.

Then, he breathed out slowly, and with it he whispered: "I have photo evidence of Remus greeting me in nothing but Tonk's bright red panties."

James swore he could see literal steam blowing out of Sirius's crimson face, neck, everything. "His red face actually matches the panties right now,"  James mused, laughing internally as he tried to memorize Sirius's stunned face.

Then he had an idea.

"Hey, Sirius, want a framed photo as a Christmas present this year?"


End file.
